You Don’t Owe Your Vacation to Hustle Culture & Ableism: How to travel softly while neurodivergent
Let’s be real: most vacations marketed to us are just burnout in a new location. You book a trip, hoping for rest. Escape. Maybe even joy. But somehow you end up with a spreadsheet full of activities, seven different “must-see” TikTok spots saved, and the creeping sense that if you don’t squeeze every drop out of every second, you’re doing it wrong.
That pressure? That’s not just hustle culture. It’s ableism, too.
The kind that tells you your worth is in how much you produce, experience, perform.
…Even on vacation.
…Even when your brain and body are begging for a break.
Now layer in a neurodivergent brain and suddenly this whole “vacation” concept may feel a lot more like a group project you didn’t sign up for.
Let’s Talk About the Myth — and the Ableism Beneath It
The “Do It All” Vacation is the idea that the only way to travel “right” is to be constantly doing, seeing, eating, exploring, moving, maximizing, documenting, engaging, experiencing... (that makes us exhausted just typing it.)
This model is glorified by influencers, pushed by travel blogs, and deeply rooted in hustle culture and capitalism. But underneath all of that? It’s a form of able-bodied, neurotypical supremacy — a worldview that assumes everyone has the same capacity for stimulation, spontaneity, energy, and joy-on-demand.
The messaging sounds like:
You can sleep when you're dead!
You HAVE to try [insert sensory-nightmare street food]!
You didn’t even go to [tourist trap]? Then why did you even come??
These aren’t just annoying travel clichés.
They’re expressions of a system that punishes for not keeping up — or for not wanting to.
Neurodivergent people experience travel differently. And not because we’re dramatic or “not trying hard enough”, but because our nervous systems have different baselines. Because our energy is finite, our coping strategies are valid, and because this world — including its leisure culture — was not built with us in mind.
Sensory Overload Is Real — And Often Ignored
New sounds, smells, textures, crowds, light patterns, food textures, unpredictable weather, changing routines.
This isn’t just “too much.” It’s a form of physical and neurological overwhelm — and forcing ourselves through it anyway because “everyone else is fine” is internalized ableism.
Your body isn’t being difficult. It’s telling the truth.
Executive Dysfunction Doesn’t Take PTO
Planning a trip? Making decisions? Keeping track of time and energy?
These are cognitively demanding tasks, and when we’re expected to do them perfectly, efficiently, and constantly — just to “have fun”? That’s not just exhausting. That’s neurotypical normativity enforcing its standards.
It’s not “vacation.” It’s unpaid labor under a smiling banner.
Disrupted Routines Aren’t a Minor Inconvenience
For ND people, routines are often regulatory tools — not quirks or preferences.
Being told to “go with the flow” when flow equals chaos is a denial of access needs.
If a vacation requires you to abandon your regulation tools to be “fun,” it’s not inclusive. It’s performative ableism.
Social Burnout Isn’t a Vibe — It’s a Health Concern
Whether you’re traveling with others or alone, social demands don’t stop and for ND folks, social interaction can be draining, especially when masking is involved.
Expecting constant extroversion or enthusiasm?
That’s a standard rooted in neurotypical communication styles, not universal truths.
PDA Brains Deserve Freedom, Too
When every part of a trip feels like a non-consensual demand, the answer might be: nope. And that’s valid.
The real problem is a travel culture that treats resistance as failure — instead of as a signal for rest, autonomy, and self-trust.
What If You Didn’t Try to “Do It All”?
What if the idea that you’re “not doing enough” is a lie rooted in ableism?
What if the most radical thing you could do on vacation is actually to:
✨ Do Less.
✨ Rest More.
✨ Prioritize your needs — not someone else’s version of what’s “worth it.”
This isn’t laziness. It’s accessibility.
This isn’t missing out. It’s making room for your actual self — not the one you’re pressured to perform.
Your Neurodivergent Vacation — By Design, Not Default
Try this thought experiment: If no one was watching, what would my vacation look like?
Maybe:
You only plan one thing a day. Or nothing.
You spend hours in one place — because it feels safe and right.
You bring your favorite snacks and eat them proudly.
You schedule naps, stim breaks, and alone time as essentials, not extras.
None of this is less than or “wasting your trip.” It’s centering your body’s needs in a world that tells you they’re too much. Check out our low spoons travel itinerary for low overload, high rest examples.
A Neurodivergent Vacation Packing List
(Emotional Edition)
Pack:
✅ Noise-canceling headphones
✅ 3x more stim tools than you think you’ll need
✅ Backup meds — and then more backup meds
✅ Safe snacks you won’t have to justify
✅ The script: “I’m going to rest now. You go ahead.”
✅ A flexible or non-existent itinerary
✅ Radical permission to say no
Leave Behind:
❌ The guilt of not doing “enough”
❌ People who treat your needs as negotiable
❌ The myth that joy only counts when it’s visible or intense
❌ That NT/able-bodied pressure cooker mindset we call “normal”
REMEMBER: You’re Not “Doing Vacation Wrong.”
You’re resisting a system that tells you rest must be earned and that joy must be exhausting. That resistance? That’s access. That’s agency. That’s care. And yeah — that’s a flex.
So if someone asks why you’re not racing through five monuments a day? Just say: “I’m not sightseeing. I’m nervous system-regulating in a different timezone.”
✨ Now that’s the kind of vacation that actually heals. ✨
Need support planning a life that doesn’t burn you out?
At Neuron & Rose, we offer neuroaffirming therapy and evaluations to help you honor your energy, needs, and joy—on vacation and in daily life. Explore our services or reach out for a consult today. You deserve care that fits you.
Disclaimers:
Land Acknowledgment: We live and work on the unseated territories of the Wahpekute and Chumash peoples, we pay respects to their elders past and present. We encourage folks to explore the ancestral lands they live and work on, and to learn about the Native communities that live there, the treaties that have been broken. If folks feel called, we encourage them to consider taking actions to support Native communities, reparations, and land back movements (see other resources at the end for more info).
A note on language: The language in the DSM, including the use of the word disorder (D in acronym), some find this harmful, while others prefer the language “disorder.” When this language is used, it is because, as mental health professionals, we need to use this same language when referring to “diagnoses” in the DSM. In addition some Autistics find the use of the level system helpful in identifying the level of support needed, while others view it as an overly simplistic way of defining something that’s fluid, and may feel it’s harmful and minimizing. The beauty is that each individual gets to choose what language feels validating and affirming to them. Inspired by Dr. Jennifer Mullan, we use the term, “therapy participant” rather than “client” or “patient,” as we work toward decolonizing therapy.
Educational Purposes: The information presented here is for educational purposes, and not meant to diagnose, treat or cure medical conditions or challenges, including neurodivergence (including mental health challenges), or physical health.
