Realistic Planning for Low-Spoons Travelers
Because “Just plan ahead!” is adorable when your brain can’t time-travel.
If you’ve ever said “I want to go on a trip” and then immediately gotten overwhelmed by planning the trip, this one’s for you.
Vacations are supposed to be a break. But for neurodivergent folx, even thinking about planning can feel like trying to do math while being chased.
Suddenly, your brain’s in a loop:
➡️ “I want to relax.”
➡️ “But I need to plan it first.”
➡️ “But I can’t plan it until I have energy.”
➡️ “But I won’t have energy until I rest.”
Let’s break the cycle — and build a travel plan that works with your brain, not against it.
True story: Executive Function Does Not Improve Just Because You’re on Vacation
Say it again: You don’t become a different person when you travel.
You’ll still:
Forget to eat until you're hangry
Feel overwhelmed by decisions
Get paralyzed when you have to pick between six cafés
Panic-book five activities at once, then cancel all of them the morning of
Know that none of that means you’re bad at travel. It simply means you’re neurodivergent. Your brain doesn’t become “efficient and organized” just because you're on vaca. (If only.)
The key? Don’t plan like someone else. Plan like you.
Structure vs. Schedule— and Why ND Brains Need the First, Not the Second
ND folks thrive with predictability, not pressure. Schedules offer pressure- what’s meant to be relaxing can turn stressful if a person feels they’re "failing" to follow the schedule.
Schedules are rigid:
9:00 AM — Wake up
10:30 AM — Museum
12:00 PM — Lunch
2:00 PM — Boat tour
3:30 PM — Panic and dissociate in the hotel room
Structure, on the other hand, is forgiving:
Morning: Choose between rest or one short outing
Midday: Eat something that won’t upset your stomach
Afternoon: Option to explore or stim/read/decompress
Evening: Pick a dinner plan based on current spoons
Structure says: Here’s a gentle framework. Choose your own adventure. You’re not behind if you skip parts. Flexibility is often more supportive, allowing neurodivergent people to engage when they have the capacity and opt out when they don’t — without guilt. This kind of travel is also ideal for folks who want to explore… if their brain says yes.
How to Plan When Executive Function Is Glitchy
You do not need a 20-page itinerary in a color-coded Google Doc. (Unless hyperfocus-mode takes the wheel — then go for it!)
But if executive dysfunction makes even basic planning feel impossible, here are low-demand ways to prep:
1. Make a Travel Menu Instead of a Schedule
Create lists with categories like:
💜 "Safe foods nearby"
🧘 "Low-effort outings if I have 2+ spoons"
🌧️ "Indoor, quiet places in case I melt down"
💤 "Stuff I can do in the hotel when I’m toast"
Then pick from the menu based on your mood and capacity that day. Zero pressure to do them all.
2. Plan One Thing Per Day, Max
That’s it. One real plan.
Not three “little” things. Not one “easy” tour and “just dinner.”
One.
That gives you room to wake up slowly, eat, stim, overthink your outfit, cry a little, AND still enjoy the one thing without collapsing.
If you end up doing more? Great. But if you don’t? You already succeeded.
3. Use Decision-Free Days
Make entire days where the only rule is: “I’m not making decisions today.”
Set it up in advance:
Pick 2-3 meals ahead of time
Pre-book your resting place (even if it’s just a nap at the beach)
Let your past self take care of your future self
Your brain will thank you.
The Magic of “Buffer Days” and “Splat Time”
Buffer Days = Transition Days
These are the unsexy but essential days built into your trip:
✈️ The day before you travel (to pack, panic, stim, spiral)
🚗 The day you arrive (to settle, nap, sniff the room, locate snacks)
🏡 The day after you return (to unpack or stare into space and cry)
Buffer days protect you from the exhaustion sandwich of too much vacation.
Splat Time = Strategic Nothingness
A concept stolen lovingly from “ND Twitter”, Splat time is intentional blobs of unstructured time where you do absolutely nothing productive or social.
Examples:
An entire afternoon with zero plans, snacks nearby, and no one expecting you to leave the room
Lying in bed on your phone for three hours while your travel buddy goes to the museum
Skipping dinner and ordering plain rice and watching ASMR until your heartbeat slows
This is not laziness. It’s essential nervous system recovery.
Know You Can Travel Without Exhausting Yourself
You don’t have to “just plan ahead.”
You don’t have to overextend.
You don’t need to cram your trip with “enough stuff” to make it feel “worth it.”
A low-spoons trip that prioritizes rest, flexibility, comfort, and zero pressure is worth it.
In fact, it might be the first vacation that actually feels like one.
Check out some of our low spoons itineraries here.
Disclaimers:
Land Acknowledgment: We live and work on the unseated territories of the Wahpekute and Chumash peoples, we pay respects to their elders past and present. We encourage folks to explore the ancestral lands they live and work on, and to learn about the Native communities that live there, the treaties that have been broken. If folks feel called, we encourage them to consider taking actions to support Native communities, reparations, and land back movements (see other resources at the end for more info).
A note on language: The language in the DSM, including the use of the word disorder (D in acronym), some find this harmful, while others prefer the language “disorder.” When this language is used, it is because, as mental health professionals, we need to use this same language when referring to “diagnoses” in the DSM. In addition some Autistics find the use of the level system helpful in identifying the level of support needed, while others view it as an overly simplistic way of defining something that’s fluid, and may feel it’s harmful and minimizing. The beauty is that each individual gets to choose what language feels validating and affirming to them. Inspired by Dr. Jennifer Mullan, we use the term, “therapy participant” rather than “client” or “patient,” as we work toward decolonizing therapy.
Educational Purposes: The information presented here is for educational purposes, and not meant to diagnose, treat or cure medical conditions or challenges, including neurodivergence (including mental health challenges), or physical health.
