Transitions as Grief: Honoring the End of Summer in Neuro-affirming Ways (Because Change Is Hard, OK?)
The end of summer feels less like a fun new season and more like someone pulled the rug out from under your cozy, sun-soaked feet. Especially if you’re neurodivergent. the shift from one season or routine to another can feel less like a fresh start and more like a quiet loss, bringing a sense of grief, overwhelm, or discomfort as routines change and sensory landscapes shift. For Neurodivergent Folx—recognizing that transitions can feel like actual grief is the first step toward honoring those feelings and creating meaningful ways to process them.
Why Transitions Are Basically Emotional Landmines for ND Folks
Change isn’t just about flipping a calendar page. Routines often provide a foundation of predictability, safety, and control for us. They help us regulate our sensory input, manage our anxiety, reduce our overwhelm, and manage our executive function challenges.
When summer ends, the shift might mean:
Earlier bedtimes and wake times that disrupt our internal rhythms
New sensory experiences—different clothing textures, sharper smells, louder environments, or chaotic social settings that can be a nightmare for those of us who are sensory-sensitive
Increased demands and expectations that can trigger demand avoidance (one big NOPE) or obsessive control needs (anxiety overload!)
Loss of our favorite activities or regulation rituals that provided us with a sense of calm and comfort
Bottom line: Change is HARD.These losses—big or small—can trigger feelings like sadness, frustration, confusion, anger, overwhelm, or even shutdown.
It’s not just a mood or being dramatic. It’s your brain trying to keep you safe in a wild world and it’s okay to honor what’s ending and create space for the full range of feelings.
Rituals to the Rescue: Because Sometimes You Need a Little Ceremony (and Snacks)
Rituals aren’t just for fancy weddings or cheesy Instagram posts. They’re your secret weapon for making transitions suck less. They give your brain some control, some meaning, and some dopamine joy moments reminiscing during all the “ugh” of change. Rituals help. They offer a sense of ceremony and control,
Neurodivergent-Approved Ritual Ideas:
Memory jars or boxes: Collect your summer trophies—photos, that weird seashell, the score chart from the mini golf set you killed at, Later, turn on the tunes and dig through them like a treasure hunt for your soul. Bonus points for making this a sensory-rich activity (touch, smell, sound all welcome).
Goodbye ceremonies: Create a playlist of the songs that are imprinted with Summer 2025’s memories, write down your top 5 memories, watch a summer sunset one last time, enjoy some lightning bugs, eat that one snack or meal that screams “summer.” Make it yours. Don’t wanna? Skip it.
Visual countdowns and social stories: Use calendars, timers, or apps to see the upcoming chaos coming. This helps your brain not freak out and your PDA side to chill with choices, not demands.
Sensory anchors: Bring your sensory calm like a boss by breaking out your weighted blanket, noise-canceling headphones, that sweater so soft it’s basically a hug, or a simmer pot with herbs like cinnamon, apple and clove to bring those cozy-vibes. These can help regulate sensory input and offer grounding.
New traditions: Create small rituals you look forward to like a “fuzzy socks inauguration day”, “Fall & Friends’ Apple Picking Trip”, “Fall’s first pumpkin spice latte” , or a “First day of fall” playlist or movie. Make a list and choose a few that feel joyful and accessible for you, or for those real fall-lovers, create a fall bingo card to check off and enjoy all season long!
Tips for Teens & Adults Navigating ND Transition Land
Look, whether you’re a teen struggling to convince your brain to care about school starting or an adult trying not to lose it on the first Monday back, here’s how to keep it together (mostly):
Visual and sensory support FTW: Bullet journals, apps, or even just sticky notes everywhere. If it’s colorful and helps you plan, you’re winning. Anxious and want a plan? Social stories or self-scripted notes help prepare for what’s new or different; helping develop a plan of what to say or prepare to do is smart, no shame.
Autonomy is your BFF: You’re the boss of your routines. Pick what to keep, what to toss, and when to do it.You get to decide when and how to implement new routines, select clothes that feel good sensory-wise, or plan your day with breaks the way you want it. For PDAers, this means fewer orders and more “hey, what do you want to do?”
Get Creative: Incorporate creative play and self-expression. Whether it’s painting, singing, stimming, dancing, or just make a TikTok about hating change. True Story: it’s therapy and helps process feelings.
Feel (and Validate) ALL the feels: Sad, mad, confused? Cry, scream, or binge-watch comfort shows guilt-free.
Keep some constants: Preserve some routines and sensory supports to help anchor regulation through change. Favorite stim toys, routines, and cozy clothes are your lifelines. Grab ‘em and hold tight.
Remember: The end of summer isn’t just a calendar event. It’s a valid neurodivergent experience deserving of respect, care, and gentle celebration.
Don’t Go It Alone
If transitions are feeling like a wrecking ball to your mental health, it’s totally okay to ask for backup. Neuroaffirming therapy can give you tools that actually respect your brain’s unique needs (and yes, it’s a thing).
Ready to make your transitions smoother? Reach out to us for neuro-affirming therapy and evaluations, therapy support groups, and gender-affirming providers who actually know how to work with ND folks like you. Because thriving through change doesn’t have to be a solo mission. Contact us today to get started!
Disclaimers:
Land Acknowledgment: We live and work on the unseated territories of the Wahpekute and Chumash peoples, we pay respects to their elders past and present. We encourage folks to explore the ancestral lands they live and work on, and to learn about the Native communities that live there, the treaties that have been broken. If folks feel called, we encourage them to consider taking actions to support Native communities, reparations, and land back movements (see other resources at the end for more info).
A note on language: The language in the DSM, including the use of the word disorder (D in acronym), some find this harmful, while others prefer the language “disorder.” When this language is used, it is because, as mental health professionals, we need to use this same language when referring to “diagnoses” in the DSM. In addition some Autistics find the use of the level system helpful in identifying the level of support needed, while others view it as an overly simplistic way of defining something that’s fluid, and may feel it’s harmful and minimizing. The beauty is that each individual gets to choose what language feels validating and affirming to them. Inspired by Dr. Jennifer Mullan, we use the term, “therapy participant” rather than “client” or “patient,” as we work toward decolonizing therapy.
Educational Purposes: The information presented here is for educational purposes, and not meant to diagnose, treat or cure medical conditions or challenges, including neurodivergence (including mental health challenges), or physical health.
